Guys Read by Jon Scieszka

Author:Jon Scieszka
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2014-07-10T16:00:00+00:00

When I went to the dentist for the second time, I was a little nervous. I had brushed my teeth every day, but I didn’t floss to get out decaying bits of food. In addition, I loved to chew ice cubes and I drank great quantities of Pepsi-Cola (so much that a concerned deli owner once told me, “You know, this stuff is so corrosive, it can be used to clean bricks!”). Still, without screaming and running away, I opened my mouth and let the dentist look inside.

He poked around with one of those pointy instruments and made little grunting sounds that implied concern. He studied the X-rays of my teeth several times and seemed perplexed. When he went to get his partner, I was truly worried.

His partner looked into my mouth and seemed startled and confused. I had a saliva-sucking device hanging in my mouth, but I managed to ask, “Ith thar shomtin wong?” I braced for horrible news that would take me down the road to bloody, life-threatening dental surgery.

Both dentists looked puzzled at first. Then my dentist said, “There’s nothing wrong. And knowing your history, I can’t explain it. You have no cavities at all.”

It turns out I have remarkably hard teeth (knock on wood) and have had very few dental problems. Even so, my heart rate goes up and I get the cold sweats every time a dentist leans in and says, “Open wide, Mr. Murphy. This won’t hurt a bit.”

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